And why ticking off experiences won’t give you the retirement you’re looking for.
Since I went public with Project 64, something interesting has been happening in conversations. When people ask about it, they almost always jump straight to the adventures.
“Oh, so it’s like a bucket list?”
“Are you going to see the Northern Lights?”
“I’ve always wanted to do an African safari.”
Every time, the conversation lands in the same place: a list of places to visit and experiences to tick off. And I get it, that’s the frame most of us default to when we think about retirement and ambition. The bucket list.
But it got me thinking. Is that really what we’re aiming for? And if so, is it enough?
The List We All Know: If you’ve spent any time thinking about retirement, you’ve probably got some version of The Bucket List. Most of us do. And they tend to look remarkably similar:
Northern Lights; European river cruise; walk the Camino; learn piano; write a memoir; hot air balloon over Cappadocia; finally sort out the garage.
These are genuinely wonderful aspirations. I’m not here to mock anyone’s dreams. Every one of those experiences would be enriching, memorable, and worth doing.
But here’s the question I keep coming back to: is a collection of experiences the same as a well-designed life?
Spot the Pattern: Look at the typical bucket list and you’ll notice something. Almost every item is a one-off consumption experience. Go here. See that. Stay there. Watch those. Tick. Done. Next.
There’s no thread connecting item one to item seven. No sense of becoming anything. No inner work. No deepening of relationships. No building of capacity that makes tomorrow more possible than today.
And here’s what really strikes me: somewhere along the way, we learned the value of strategy, of building towards something, of connecting the dots. And then we retire and our plan for the most liberated season of our lives is… a shopping list?
The bucket list is essentially consumption thinking applied to freedom. It’s the same mindset that drove us to collect promotions, just redirected toward collecting experiences. And I suspect it leaves us with the same hollow feeling when the novelty wears off.
What’s Actually Missing: When I look at the typical bucket list, something strikes me. Almost every item is disconnected from everything else. The safari has nothing to do with the piano lessons, which have nothing to do with the river cruise. It’s a random collection of moments, not a life design. The most fulfilled people I’ve met in this season have something that connects their health, their adventures, their relationships, and their sense of purpose into a coherent whole. The bucket list has none of that.
And it runs out. It’s inherently finite. You tick things off and then what? You’re back at the kitchen table with a coffee, wondering now what? The goal shouldn’t be a series of endings. It should be a way of living that renews itself.
There’s something else missing too. Most bucket lists are about consuming experiences. But what if your fitness, your learning, and your relationships were all building towards something? What if getting fitter at 60 than you were at 50 meant the adventure possibilities expanded rather than contracted? That’s a fundamentally different approach and it’s the reason why foundations matter so much more than highlights.
And underneath all of it; no community, no rest, no reflection, no service. Just outward-facing activity. Yet the things that actually sustain us: connection, purpose, solitude, contribution don’t appear on many bucket lists. They’re not photogenic enough.
From Bucket List to Blueprint: I’m not saying throw the list away. Those dreams matter. They’re signals, they reveal what you’re hungry for. Adventure. Beauty. Growth. Connection. Meaning.
But what if, instead of treating them as isolated tick-boxes, you used them as raw material for something deeper?
What if “see the Northern Lights” became the destination at the end of a journey that also built your fitness, deepened your marriage, connected you with a community, and gave you a story worth telling?
What if “walk the Camino” wasn’t a one-week holiday but part of building the physical and mental capacity for a life of ongoing adventure? What if “learn piano” had a deadline, a measurable outcome, and a reason why that connected to your bigger story?
The difference between a bucket list and a blueprint is the difference between tourism and transformation. One gives you memories. The other changes who you are.
The Real Question: So here’s my gentle challenge. If you’ve got a bucket list, and there’s nothing wrong with that, ask yourself this:
If you ticked off everything on your list in two years, who would you have become?
Because retirement isn’t a landing strip. It’s a launch pad. And a launch pad deserves more than a shopping list.
It deserves a design.
If that resonates, even a little, I’d love to hear what’s on your list, and what you think might be missing from it. Drop a comment below or get in touch.
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